An Idiotic Trailer Dissection of Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens

OH BOY! WE SAW THE NEW TRAILER AND GOT SOME SCREEN GRABS FOR YOU TO ENJOY ALONG WITH OUR ALWAYS ACCURATE COMMENTARY ON ALL THINGS POP CULTURE. THIS STAR WARS MOVIE PRESUMABLY TAKES PLACE AFTER THE OTHER SIX MOVIES BUT WE CAN'T CONFIRM ANYTHING OTHER THAN IT IS COMPLETELY ACCURATE. ENJOY THE GRANDEUR AND SIT BACK AND SCROLL YOUR WAY INTO NERD HEAVEN!!!

THIS GREEN SCREEN THING KICKS IT OFF SO YOU KNOW WE ARE FOR REAL NOW!

 BAD ROBOT IS JAR JAR ABRAMS COMPANIES NAME SO YOU CAN EXPECT TO SEE THE SMOKE MONSTER FROM "LOST" SOMEWHERE IN THIS NEW STAR WARSES.

 HERE IS A SHOT OF OLD MAN JANITOR JEDI CLEANING THE YARD BUT THIS TIME ITS IN THE RAIN SO IT IS NOW THOUGHT TO BE DRAMATIC AND NOT COMEDIC. THIS SHOT REMINDS ME OF A MOVIE CALLED THE FOUNTAIN...OH WELL. THAT'S SILLY CAUSE IT SAYS IT IS THE STAR WARS.

 HERE IS A TEMPLE WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER ANY CHURCH BREAKS DURING THE CLONE WAR CARTOONS

 LOOK AT THAT HOLE! WE ARE DESTINED TO FIND OUT WHAT'S IN THAT HOLE IN DECEMBER 2015!

 OH BOY! THESE JED'S BETTER BE CAREFUL...JUST KIDDING! THEY CAN JUST FLOAT DOWN AND WIN THE DAY BECAUSE IT IS THEIR DESTINY.

 HERE IS A SHOT OF HUGH JACKMAN FROM THE MOVIE THE FOUNTAIN DOING YOGA SO EXPECT TO SEE WOLVERINE HAVE LIGHTSABER CLAWS IN THIS ONE!!

 HERE WE HAVE WHAT APPEARS TO BE THE BASTARD SON OF DARTH VADER AND PRINCESS LEIA AND HE TALKS ABOUT HOW IT IS HIS DESTINY TO AVENGE HIS DADDY.

 BET YOU THOUGHT DARTH MAUL GOT CUT IN TWICE! YOU THOUGHT WRONG DUMMY! HE'S BACK AND HIS STITCHES ARE ITCHY AND NOW HE'S MAD ABOUT IT!

 HERE IS AN EX-WING (THEY GOT A DIVORCE) FLYING TO MARS SO EXPECT TO SEE THESE ON THE NEWS BECAUSE THIS MEANS THEY ARE REAL NOW.

 HERE WE HAVE A TATTOOINE HOMELESS MAN RIDING HIS GARBAGE CAN BECAUSE HE KNOWS HE IS DESTINED FOR MORE.

 OH NO! THE JED'S JUMPED! REMEMBER WHEN I SAID THEY FLOAT? DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM!

 CHEWIE IS BACK AND HIS MOUTH IS OPEN...CONFIRMED!

 HERE IS SOME GUY (PROBABLY LIAM NEESON) RUNNING TOWARDS A MONSTER TO FIND OUT WHERE HIS DAUGHTER IS CAUSE SHE IS ALWAYS BEING KIDNAPPED AND STUFF.

 HERE IS ANOTHER SHOT FROM THE FOUNTAIN WHEN HUGH JACKMAN REALIZES THAT HE CHANGE TIME WITH THE POWER OF THE TREE OF LIFE.

 HERE IS THE OLD PRIEST FROM MINORITY REPORT WAVING HIS FINGER LIKE "NAA AHH"

 STAR OF KINGDOM HEARTS HARRY FORD IS BACK AS LUKE SOLO. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO COMBINE CHARACTERS TO MAKE ROOM FOR NEW ONES AND THIS WAY HARRY GETS TWO CHECKS SO WIN WIN. 

 HERE IS FLACON TAKING OFF TO SPACE AND SOON YOUR MOVIE THEATRE!! 

 HERE IS THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE SO NOW YOU KNOW IT'S OVER AND COMPLETELY REAL. 

ALSO HERE IS ANOTHER TITLE IN CASE YOU NEEDED MORE CONVINCING ON THE MATTER.

  

I HOPE YOU ALL LOVED WATCHING THIS AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT. I ALSO HEARD THERE IS GOING TO BE A GOLD STORMTROOPER SOMEWHERE WHO HAS A LIGHTSABER SO HOLY CRAP!!

-bRIAN bLOG!! (dUh)