Minnesnowda

If you don't live in Minnesota. Fuck you. I am sorry, you see I am a Minnesota resident and Like Paul Bunyan my Ox is turning blue. 

 My OX is actually my dick, Paul's is actually an ox he fucked with his dick.  Recently, Minnesota has been going through a cold streak, how cold you may ask? Well it has been so cold here rapists are sticking to their victims.

 Sorry I guess I should have warned you about that rape joke, but I feel it is important to put in context how horrible this weather is. -50 wind chill’s, -20 flat temp. I actually heard myself say in conversation “Well at least it warmed up to 3 degrees.” I can't even cry about the weather, my tears would freeze to my cheeks.

 I guess what I am saying is I hope you don't live here, and if you don't, you know....fuck you.

p.s the tap water here also sucks.

~CA