Watch Dogs: Who let them out?

WATCH_DOGS: a review

So the puppy of anticipation has grown into the new game Watch_Dogs and it's time we talked about it. Ubisoft (Splinter Cell, XIII) have released a new title aimed at the hot topic of Hacking computers which is good because that movie Hackers is getting close to celebrating it's 20th anniversary and I imagine there will be a huge boom of interest after that blu-ray comes out. Hackers (1995) is about a computer hacker named Zero Cool and his team of lovable degenerates who wear neon like it's going outta style (good for them cause they were right!) and they take on the timeless villain Fisher Stevens in a style competition of who can hack the best. 

Much like the classic film Hackers, you play Aiden Longcoat and he doesn't clear his throat. He has a smartphone that he never lets go of (even if he is getting shot at or parkouring) which is great cause he needs that to hack into other peoples bank accounts to get more money for more long coats or guns and most of the time he takes it from people diagnosed with cancer or video game enthusiasts (people have labels that give brief descriptions of their awful polygon lives). Aiden has a sorted past in stealing money from the wrong people that gets his sisters, cousins, third aunt's daughter killed while going on a nice drive through Christopher Nolan's Batman's "Narrows". 11 months later (when you start playing), Aiden is still a wreck and has changed his ways to become a vigilante named vigilante who wears an outfit called vigilante and he is so sad that he goes on a rampage of running over 17  random people to save one person in an alley. He also takes out gang hideouts in parking garages like the one from Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight ("My dogs...ARE...HUNGRY!) and he steals cars cause he can't fly (yet). 

The whole premise is that this is Chicago 2007 and in this alternate Chicago the movie Hackers was just the best thing ever when it came out in '95 so everybody learned how to do code and became Neo's to get what they want but none of that really matters. We came to sandbox game to blow shit up and we get to do that so there really isn't too much else to really explain about this game. I am about 2 missions into the sandbox and i have only taken over cell phone towers and purchased multiple coats from the money i have stolen from random people on the street so i'm happy.

Ubisoft (pronounced as oo-bee-sof) has really made a fun game here that rivals Grand Theft Auto V in that it is like Grand Theft Auto V if Grand Theft Auto V had a point. In Grand Theft Auto V, you basically act like a dick and kill people and steal cars and blow things up and drive like a jackass BUT IN WATCH_DOGS you basically act like a dick and kill people and steal cars and blow things up and drive like a jackass but you have a long coat on and in my book that wipes the slate clean. 

Unlike games in the past where you had to keep up with the ever changing world and buy new video game consoles to keep up with the never changing creativity video games, you can buy this game on any platform you wish! let's go through the list!
Xbox One: Yup
Playstation 4: Yup
Xbox 360: yup
Playstation 3: yup
Most Smartphones: yup
Super Nintendo Entertainment system: yup
Sega Genesis: yup
Personal Computer (PC): yup
Dot Matrix from Spaceballs: yup
So whatever you own you won't miss out on cyber terrorism at it's best!

Should you buy it? Sure, because most of your friends have already got it on the next gen systems that suck your dick or go down on you for buying their superior software and they have already counted you out as a human for not owning these heaven boxes and taking games seriously. So if you want to re-enact your favorite scenes from Christopher Nolan Batman movie or just be Johnny Lee Miller's Zero Cool then this is the game for you. 

-R