Autobiographical Movies: The Formula

GET RICH! QUICK!

ARE YOU A DOWN ON YOUR LUCK HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER OR FILMMAKER AND YOU WISH YOU COULD GET THAT ACCLAIM THAT HAS ALLUDED YOU FOR ALL THOSE YEARS? OF COURSE YOU ARE!!

OUR TEAM HAS DEVELOPED A WAY FOR YOU TO MAKE A MOVIE THAT WILL INSTANTLY GET YOU RECOGNIZED A UNIQUE STORYTELLER!!!

STEP 1. PICK A FAMOUS DEAD/ALIVE THAT MUSICIAN THAT PEOPLE KNOW!

ANY OF THEM. PICK'EM! BUT YOU CAN'T PICK THESE ONES...

STEP 2.

 SHOW THEM IN THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE AS A BABY OR A TEENAGER GOING THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC OR LIFE ALTERING.

STEP 3.

 CHRONICLE THEIR RISE TO FAME BY MAKING THEIR FIRST TIME ON STAGE AWKWARD OR SHOW THEM AS A GENIUS.

STEP 3 SPLIT.

IF THEY ARE AWKWARD, SHOW THEM GETTING OVER IT AND TURNING TO DRUGS FOR CONFIDENCE

IF THEY ARE A GENIUS, SHOW THEM GETTING OVER IT AND BECOMING HUMBLE IN SOME WAY AND STILL SHOW THEM GETTING INTO DRUGS CAUSE WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN, YOU GUYS.

STEP 4.

THE PROBLEM. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE WHATEVER LIFE ALTERING THING THAT HAPPENED TO THEM WHEN THEY WERE KIDS SHOW UP AS A GHOST OR AS A BAD TRIP AND JUST REALLY DRAG THE PERSON THROUGH THE MUD CAUSE IN STEP 5 WE DO THE TURNAROUND AND THIS IS WHERE THE OSCARS ARE LOOKING!.

STEP 5.

LAUNCH THAT TURNAROUND AND GET YOUR MUSICIAN OUT OF REHAB OR OUT OF DEPRESSION AND IN TO HISTORY BY SHOWING THE AUDIENCE THAT THEY CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING.

STEP 6. 

END IT ON A PICTURE AND SHOW HOW MUCH YOUR ACTOR PLAYING THE MUSICIAN RESEMBLED EACH OTHER AND DON'T FORGET TO THROUGH IN SOME WORDS BEFORE THE CREDITS ROLE. LIKE, SOME REAL HARD HITTING STUFF LIKE "HE/SHE WAS SOBER TILL THEY DIED" OR IF THEY DIED FROM DRUG OVERDOSE JUST PUT UP A QUOTE THEY SAID AT THE END WHILE PLAYING SOME AUDIENCE CHEERING ON A LOOP.

IF YOU FOLLOWED MY TIPS THEN I AM SURE YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL.

EXTRA CREDIT: IF YOU CAST SOMEONE AND THEY LEARNED HOW TO SING LIKE THE CHARACTER THEY ARE PORTRAYING THEN HYPE THAT SHIT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND GET THE SINGLES OUT THERE AND START SAYING THINGS LIKE "MAN, IT'S WEIRD HOW MUCH _____ SOUNDS LIKE _____".

-R