Fist Of The North Star Movie Review

Well, I sure made this season sound better than it will be.

 I admit that now. But, only after tricking you with my dope ass Anime Click-bait!! 

Some of you were seeing this and thinking Fuck yes. Fist of The North Star. One of the most brutal anime's ever made.

If you haven't watch it here:

Fist of The North Star 1986

That as rad! Right? 

 Now get ready to review, not this movie!!

Surprise! 

We are reviewing a live action movie based on the anime and heavy spoilers. 

 It Sucks. 

 But still awesome in a shitty way, if you watch it knowing it's not gonna work you will laugh yourself out loud, in real life. Actual real life. Or it won't, guess it really doesn't matter. 

 We will be sitting here hating ourselves. While, escape into a sea of childhood. Sweet child hood INTO GIF!!!!!! 

 The year was 1995 and a movie with cutting edge CGI. (Allegedly)  A budget of 6 million dollars. 

 OK jokes over, this movie sucks.

 But it is a great shitty movie. (Not Last Air Bender)

 FOTNS the live action movie plays out as a who dun it of budget.

 Sure 6 million is nothing compared to: Brave heart made in the same year for 53 million, or Toy story's 30 million budget. 

 I get it was less but we are taking about 1/5 the budget of two of the biggest movies of that year.

 Where did they spend it?

How did they spend it and still make this piece of shit movie?

 I don't know lets observe.

They didn't spend it on acting. 

 Seriously check this out. Everyone's Brother or sister is in this movie. It's like all the stars of the era simply said “Fine you can be in this one movie, with Clint Howard. Go.”

Check out all these stars that were relegated to this piece of “Art”

Melvin "Block" Van Peebles, oh yes, father of Mario Van Peebles. “Fine Dad, here is a gig!”

Chris Penn, The working Sean Penn's walking obligation.

 Seriously he was in Corky Romano. 

 And 

Beethoven's 2^nd.

And lets not Forget your star power:

 Malcolm McDowell. 

 Plus, this was the 90's Malcolm, he probably did this movie for some milk and a place to sleep. 

 So at any rate we can say the budget money did not go into the casting of this Theatrical Thrift store cast.

So no money there,and they did not spend it on sets:

Nor, did they spend it on fake blood:

or those weird nipple looking scars.

For real, they took that money.  

They also, clearly did not spend it here.

Nor here.

Or, even here.

Maybe, this dope kick, was spending all the money?

Or, this magic hand!

 Maybe not.

They were clearly only there to embezzle from the company.  Nothing I have seen so far can justify 3 dollars, let alone 6 million,  Unless....

 That hair....

Those eyes.

I think these dick paddles might have actually wasted the entire budget on hair products and eyeliner for a post apocalyptic movie.

 Ick.

 OK so watch this it will be fun. 

 Get your head out of your ass. 

 And into jelly wounds! 

With finger Attacks!

 One of the best shitty movies ever!

I give you The Live Action Fist!

click on link below to see movie.

Fist of The North Star (1995)

~Broke