Not X-Cited for this article
About all those X-Men movies.
This editor here says I need to post more about mainstream comic book movies and when I asked where should I start I was pointed in the direction of the X-Men movies and Billy (the mail room clerk who died recently) willed them to me even though we never exchanged more than two words. Well those movies sat in my study for awhile and it got down to the line and i haven't touched a single disc so i figured i would get what i can from the trailers of each of the 6 (holy shit, who has time for that?) and tell you what I believe from that. So without further ado...
X-Men (part 1?)
X-Men (part 1?)
0:01 in and it looks like the T-1000 came.
0:11 looks like the black stuff from the x-file movie.
0:37 Oh great, some techno to wake me from the boring politics...typical Hollywood.
0:44 "focus their powers in a positive way" like levitating a syringe.
0:50 a giant "X" appears.
enough.
From what i can assume from this trailer we are meant to believe that people have super powers and like leather outfits. At one point we go through all the characters very much like the Mortal Kombat trailer because while watching it i can only assume the characters are easily forgotten so we are given these name tags so we can whisper to our friends who each person is. They also don't appear to have money for a original score which is obviously from Dark City and some elements of the trailer are taken from The X-File Movie. Lot's of fighting apparently and no character growth.
No Stars Given
X-Men 2 (X2?): X-Men United (airways)
0:00-0:11 I thought this was a Tim Burton thing
enough.
I saw a chess board so i am just going to assume this the thought provoking character development installment in this franchise. Pretty weird that everything looked like glass. I don't understand these previews at all.
No Stars Given
X-Men The Last Stand
This title is just confusing. I thought this was the last one but IMDB.com says there are 3 more? Anyway, let's watch this stupid thing.
0:32 I am convinced this is a GAP ad
0:35 Apparently fivehead Juno is in this movie not being pregnant
0:53 I see a furry blue Kelsey Grammer?
0:55 Wasn't Storm in the first movie like from a different country?
enough.
First off, I couldn't be angrier they aren't using digital bird wings on a Harvey Birdman live action movie and they waste them on a serial murderer looking doofus. Huge Jack Man's hair is just getting bigger and bigger as the series goes on and that is strange because i have an uncle who aged and lost his hair as he got older.
No Stars Given
holy shit c'mon really?! X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I am not even going to watch this one based solely on the screen cap that looks like pure garbage. How many times in these last few trailers have we seen this guy with fire behind him? Have you ever wondered WHY he has fire behind? No! I don't care about the origin of a guy who takes fire safety so loosy goosey.
No Stars Given for obvious reasons
X-Men: First Class
(they will never stop making these things will they?)
Anything has to be better than the last couple.
Just finished viewing the trailer and i have no critiques about it. Hopefully Huge Jack Man can keep his claws out of this one so it can be a proper believable film. I like all the youth and the youthfulness. You know what i mean? Like, "no old people allowed" was written on the set that day. One more to go.
No Stars Given
(i read Huge Jack Man has a cameo in it)
jesus...The Wolverine
Seriously! who the hell cares about a guy that can't die!? HOW MUCH DO WE HAVE TO LEARN ABOUT HIM?! WILL THERE BE A TEST? BECAUSE THERE IS PLENTY OF MATERIAL TO STUDY FROM. I don't even understand the point of these movies.
Nope. No stars. Just stop. Billy died having a collection of movies that were absolute shit.
0:00-0:11 I thought this was a Tim Burton thing
enough.
I saw a chess board so i am just going to assume this the thought provoking character development installment in this franchise. Pretty weird that everything looked like glass. I don't understand these previews at all.
No Stars Given
X-Men The Last Stand
This title is just confusing. I thought this was the last one but IMDB.com says there are 3 more? Anyway, let's watch this stupid thing.
0:32 I am convinced this is a GAP ad
0:35 Apparently fivehead Juno is in this movie not being pregnant
0:53 I see a furry blue Kelsey Grammer?
0:55 Wasn't Storm in the first movie like from a different country?
enough.
First off, I couldn't be angrier they aren't using digital bird wings on a Harvey Birdman live action movie and they waste them on a serial murderer looking doofus. Huge Jack Man's hair is just getting bigger and bigger as the series goes on and that is strange because i have an uncle who aged and lost his hair as he got older.
No Stars Given
holy shit c'mon really?! X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I am not even going to watch this one based solely on the screen cap that looks like pure garbage. How many times in these last few trailers have we seen this guy with fire behind him? Have you ever wondered WHY he has fire behind? No! I don't care about the origin of a guy who takes fire safety so loosy goosey.
No Stars Given for obvious reasons
X-Men: First Class
(they will never stop making these things will they?)
Anything has to be better than the last couple.
Just finished viewing the trailer and i have no critiques about it. Hopefully Huge Jack Man can keep his claws out of this one so it can be a proper believable film. I like all the youth and the youthfulness. You know what i mean? Like, "no old people allowed" was written on the set that day. One more to go.
No Stars Given
(i read Huge Jack Man has a cameo in it)
jesus...The Wolverine
Seriously! who the hell cares about a guy that can't die!? HOW MUCH DO WE HAVE TO LEARN ABOUT HIM?! WILL THERE BE A TEST? BECAUSE THERE IS PLENTY OF MATERIAL TO STUDY FROM. I don't even understand the point of these movies.
Nope. No stars. Just stop. Billy died having a collection of movies that were absolute shit.
-Philip Seymour Hoffman
