OSCAR SCANDAL!

TOM HANKS SNUBBED...KINDA...NOT REALLY.

In a shocking turn of events that no one cares about, Captain Ron was mistakenly nominated for best picture. "We thought it was about time the academy came around to our little movie" and that little movie featured Martin Short starring alongside Kurt Russel as marriage ruin-er Captain Ron and there are some pirates and kids or something. We told Martin Short about this and he jumped up and down like a jack ass and suffered a mild heart attack due to him forgetting his age. Tom Hanks couldn't be reached for comment but some say if you listen closely you can hear a maniacal laughter coming from Malibu. Surely this is how super villains are made. 

-RS