It's a Gift: My obsession with Grape NOS.

Grape NOS.

It's the fuel that propels me through this life and into a second state of consciousness. What makes this particular brew of energy poison so god damned good is the fact that it is the rarest brand of energy drink to enjoy. My obsession begins almost two years ago, back to a time where finding the will to stay awake was dying out due to a job that demanded more than hours from me. I wasn't an energy drink kind of guy so when i happened upon this artificially flavored deity spunk it's safe to say my life was changed. One day i was dragging ass on my way to work and coffee just didn't do it for me and i noticed the guy who fills our apartments pop machine start loading up this strange purple can into the machine full of bottles. I ask him "hey, what's that?" and he says "it's NOS" and i say "what the hell is that? like, from the Fast and Furious movies" and he laughed and began to tell me the story....

"Many years ago, in a land far way there was a man. Now this guy had a need and it wasn't easily cured, mind you. No. This guy also had an understanding of the artificial grape flavor but he didn't know how to harness it to it's full potential. So he met with some scientists (who were easy to run into in this land far away) and he began working on his masterpiece. An energy drink with an artificial grape flavor at it's base and finally after sinking his family fortune and after a couple years he had finally perfected it. So he set off to try to get it mass produced and on his very first outing he was struck down immediately by two idiots having a street race."

"And those two idiots stole the idea from the dead genius" I stared blankly at his serious face and asked "seriously?" and he said "I dunno, i'm pretty high right now". So i enjoyed his story and payed the two dollar and had my very first sip on my way to work. My eyes were open. I saw a hummingbird in slow motion and my chest hurt. This was what the world was hiding from me and now i had the key to unlock it. But then suddenly and almost without warning about 8 hours later i came down from my cloud and everything lost it's color and people began to speak in mumbled nonsense. I know now that i was coming down from an energy high but it felt like i was Superman who had a taste of earth's yellow sun and now i was back to my red sun filled planet full of dramatic Brando's.

The rest is history. I never looked back. I kept drinking it. i kept kissing the gods. This strange fuel made many of my friends frown upon me and they looked at me like i was some kind of junkie looking to score his next wild fucking genie. I've lassoed destiny with this purple liquid and i will never let go now. My wife hates the smell of it so now have to take my doses in secret and always have a stick of gum on the ready in case i need to cover up my dirty awful secret from her. I would hate to think who i would become without this wonderful concoction in my life. Many of you think you know me but you only know what the can has given me. It's a lease on life and the finest vice. There are bad days for me as i imagine there are for many people who are hooked on such a sweet devil dick like the one i enjoy. There is no conclusion to this tale and i write it in hopes that the good people at NOS see this article and give me a pallete of grape NOS for free as a gift for hyping it. Because i just ran out and tonight is going to be a long one without it. The following image is too graphic for younger eyes and far too painful for it's author.

Fingers crossed, true be-readers!!

-R