WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? or The story of Entourage and how you are better off, and worse off, seeing it.

By Tom Chillstrom

(For context of the article I am assuming that you either have seen the show and know the characters or are an adult and can Google/research them on your own.)

If you like movies "BASED" on television series, then you probably hate HBO series and any movie that they ever resulted in. I state this only because Entourage is in the same vain as Sex in the City and Sex in the City 2, which means it is not "BASED" on a TV series, it's simply suppose to answer all the questions left from the end of the series' run. So with that pretty easy assumption answered and out of the way, let us begin.

Now to start, it does not matter what this movie is about. That's right; IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT! Yes, maybe a handful of movies in the history of mankind are possibly life-changing but this is far from that. In fact I'm pretty certain the movie's theme was quite simply, "It doesn't really matter what you want." Not in a mean way, just to it's own characters and most of the supporting half-wits that appear in the movie. For example (i.e. when you see "for example" is also means SPOILER ALERT, as I will be giving you the rundown of a scene from the movie), Eric is called by an ex-girlfriend to talk about her being pregnant. This comes literally moments after he and Sloan leave a Lamaze class and are talking about rekindling their relationship (SHOCKER: the two are not together because it would not be Entourage if they were together to start a season or now the movie) and he is left in stunned silence. When he meets up with the ex-girlfriend he runs into a girl he just had sex with the night before. This is all one big set-up as the two women know each other and think Eric is a pig and think he should not be "like every other [guy] in Hollywood." Guess what ladies? "It doesn't really matter what you want!" You see my point. Throughout the movie Vince and Eric are trying to convince Ari to get more money for their film. Ari is running into multiple roadblocks along the way and that is because "it doesn't really matter what you want." You see my point? There is no closure on that topic until the closing few scenes when the movie is finally released and is a massive success.

With all the things that do come with the movie; cameos that do not make sense, an opening sequence of events that do not seem to be on the same time table as from where the series left off, and the fact that TMZ is brought into the movie for a humorous [?] effect, no real questions from the series' conclusion are answered by the movie. Again because "it doesn't really matter what you want." The movie concludes with none of the four core members of the entourage in a clearly-defined stable relationship, the movie is only half as successful at the box office as the current Avengers movie and doesn't say how long it has been in theaters, and it does not show any long-term success for the group as a whole.

That is actually how you are worse off seeing Entourage; you will be frustrated with the content as it drags on like you are going through a marathon of season nine (actually series ended at eight, so you get my point), you will likely be drawn away from the plot of the movie as actors and models and musicians and athletes are thrown into cameo roles throughout the first half of the movie, and you probably will not like any of the characters because you probably do not live in Hollywood and cannot relate to their lifestyle and it seems pointless.

On the other hand, this movie sucked and you would be better off watching it. I know that sounds counter-intuitive but it is the honest truth. Multiple people as I left the theater stated that the film "sucked", but none could give the examples I have already presented about why it sucks. Their only reason for stating it was because "I didn't get it" or "What was the point?". You see, these words, and comments like them, were spoken by college-aged children that did not see all the episodes of the show. They missed parts of the seasons or have not gotten to the final few episodes and where this move starts from. THIS IS NOT A STAND-ALONE FILM, IT IS AN HBO FILM! I said it the first paragraph, the movie is not "BASED" on the series, it is a continuation. The people that reviewed it as "sucking" do not get the point that "it doesn't really matter what you want".

People complained about Ari slinging his verbal arrows at Lloyd in his typical off-brand way. Others thought the nudity was gratuitous and did not realize that was a staple of the series. But the vague answer to them is yes, it did suck. It is a typical "bro" movie, probably the most since "Ted" and likely the most until "Ted 2" is released (because Mark Wahlberg is Mark Wahlberg is Mark Wahlberg is Donnie Wahl...Mark Wahlberg). But that is what also makes it so good. Get some friends together, have a few beers before and after, catch-up with your friends because they matter. This movie does have that going for it; at one point I felt that I should have been fighting with them and offering support when needed. It engaged my personality to be part of the gang's going-ons and believe in how far they worked to make their mark in the world. I felt compelled to cheer and be embarrassed for Drama, root for Turtle in his relationship quest, stick by Eric as he fights for normalcy, and believe in Vince's ideas and vision for his movie. Hell, I laughed at nearly everything Ari Gold said and did so for the whole movie. The movie had the same characters that led me to be a fan of the series and it simply worked for the movie to be entertaining.

I believe that the movie was long and too drawn out and I would not be surprised if the makers take one more look over the film and cut more out of it in the two weeks between when I saw it and the set release date of Wednesday, June 3, 2015. It is not going to happen but again it is the ninth season the series never had and we should just be happy as fans of the television show that we got to see the boys at least one more time. 

Basically, HBO can go with making another movie to finally answer the questions and put the series to bed or they will not make a sequel because "it doesn't really matter what you want".  For me it is a dead even draw with the film and I would rate it 2.5 out of 5 stars, 1 out of 2 thumbs-up, and 22 yays to 22 nays, etc. etc. etc. Watch it in theaters, wait for it on DVD or Blu-Ray, or do not watch it all, "it doesn't really matter..."